Pork and Beans and How Everything Fell Into Place

Tonight, I was writing up an assignment, drinking a Dr Pepper and eating a bowl of pork and beans. Two things come to mind when i eat pork and beans. 1.) Weezer. 2.) i feel like a hobo. (a third and inconsequential thing also comes to mind whilst consuming said delicacy; a type of succulent plant named after the edible, due mainly to the bean-like appendages of the plant. I digress.)

     So first off, i automatically start singing Pork and Beans by Weezer. A song about shirking social normality and self acceptance. Then i start thinking "OMG i'm totally just like a hobo eating this stuff LOLZ". Then my mind wandered back to a thing I've been contemplating for a little while now: should i start wearing make-up again? If ever you've hung out with me or seen me in real life in the past year, you know I'm not beauty queen. I rock the soccer-mom-at-age-21 look, usually sporting a pullover hoodie/poncho and sweater boots. (yes, they're technically slippers but i swear you can wear them outside.) I don't typically brush or style my hair (it basically manages itself, i just shampoo it then leave it alone. doesn't typically tangle/mat.) I've stopped wearing make-up all together in the past year, only rarely wearing it for a special event or whatnot. ANYWAY I digress again. So i've been contemplating wearing it again, and trying to look "cute" or "normal" (haha that word makes me laugh...) again. So i was singing the song and feeling like a hobo.

Then it hit me. I was singing a song about self-acceptance and not caring what the world thinks, feeling like an awesome hobo (i love hobos. it's a thing.) and my question pretty much answered itself. However, i thought i'd try it again, just for the heck of it. I brushed my hair out until it was like corn silk, then put on eyeliner and pink lipstick. I looked like a doll. I looked like a NORMAL girl my age. I looked at my face in the mirror and broke out into a stupid grin. I can look normal, i can look decent, and, dare i say, i can look GOOD.

But that's not who I am.

I'm a simple person, typically, and that's usually reflected in my fashion choices (or lack thereof haha). I feel so fake with make up on... Nothing against it for other people, for sure, but I feel like I'm wearing a mask... I feel shallow, and normal; both feelings that i abhor.

So I'll continue to go out in a Mexican poncho and sweater boots. And I'll hold my head high, knowing that I CAN look good, but choose to abandon the societal norms for a simpler and more honest lifestyle. And I'll be happy that way.

Lyrics to "Pork and Beans" by Weezer
They say
I need some Rogaine
To put in my hair
Work it out at the gym
To fit my underwear
Oakley makes the shades
That transform a tool
You'd hate
For the kids to think
That you lost your cool

I'mma do the things
That I wanna do
I ain't got a thing
To prove to you
I'll eat my candy
With the pork and beans
Excuse my manners
If I make a scene
I ain't gonna wear
The clothes that you like
I'm fine and dandy
With the me inside
One look in the mirror
And I'm tickled pink
I don't give a hoot
About what you think
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/w/weezer/pork_and_beans.html ]
Everyone likes to dance
To a happy song
(Hey, hey)
With a catchy chorus and beat
So they can sing along
(Hey, hey)
Timbaland knows the way
To reach the top of the charts
Maybe if I work with him
I can perfect the art

I'mma do the things
That I wanna do
I ain't got a thing
To prove to you
I'll eat my candy
With the pork and beans
Excuse my manners
If I make a scene
I ain't gonna wear
The clothes that you like
I'm fine and dandy
With the me inside
One look in the mirror
And I'm tickled pink
I don't give a hoot
About what you think

No I don't care
I don't care

I'mma do the things
That I wanna do
I ain't got a thing
To prove to you
I'll eat my candy
With the pork and beans
Excuse my manners
If I make a scene
I ain't gonna wear
The clothes that you like
I'm fine and dandy
With the me inside
One look in the mirror
And I'm tickled pink
I don't give a hoot
About what you think